


You Give Love A Bad Name

by psychophoenix



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Agency boss Jeonghan, Agent Jun, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Betrayal, But also, Flash Fic, Flash Fiction, Humor, Jicheol, M for language, M/M, Romance, Secret Agent S.Coups, Secret Agent Woozi, Spies & Secret Agents, and some sexual and dark humor, is this Mr. and Mrs. Smith?, married jicheol, probably, sassy jihoon, with married banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:13:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26497711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychophoenix/pseuds/psychophoenix
Summary: All's fair in love and marriage until your boss tells you to kill your husband.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 11
Kudos: 64
Collections: Challenge 2: Betrayal





	You Give Love A Bad Name

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking of how to adapt the theme for Jicheol and lo and behold I remembered that I am trash for Mr. and Mrs. Smith... hence, this.

People tell you to get to know someone before you marry them, but falling in love with Seungcheol was just so easy. And so, after a whirlwind romance that ended in domestic and _other kinds_ of bliss, the last thing Jihoon expected was to be told to kill his husband. 

"Moon, are you sure this is the target's photo?" 

"Yeah, why?"

"Didn't you see before you sent it over?" 

There's a crackle of static from the other end. "Nope. Boss gave it to me to send to you already encrypted."

Woozi, legally known as Lee Jihoon, rolls his eyes. "I'm sending it to your private cell. Call me after."

"Roger."

He sends over the image, and he doesn't have to wait too long before his private phone buzzes. 

"That's your fucking husband."

"I know."

"Boss said the target's a level Alpha threat." 

"He did."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know, Jun. Should I ask my husband if he'll take his coffee black with two cyanides?" 

"Man, you're in a pickle."

"I should think I'm in more than just a pickle, but thanks. I'll call you back, Cheol's home." 

"Mmkay, happy date night."

Jihoon quickly closes his closet's secret compartment, keeping away all the gadgets and weapons that he's kept so long from his husband of a year. 

When people tell you not to keep secrets from your spouse, they don't usually mean secret identities, but that's precisely what Jihoon has been doing. Still, their chemistry in and out of the bedroom was too fun to ignore, so when Seungcheol proposed to him after their month-long tryst in Greece, Jihoon agreed. 

Now, he's stuck in a suburban white picket fence life, keeping a huge chunk of his identity from his husband. Although this new assignment probably means that Seungcheol has been keeping his own secrets. 

"Babe, are you in the bedroom?" He hears Seungcheol call from the front door. 

"Yeah, I'm looking for a suit." He yells back.

Jihoon hears footsteps approaching, and Seungcheol appears, grinning. "You'll look delectable in whichever. Even better without." his appraising eyes scan Jihoon, and the latter rolls his eyes in response.

"Sure, if you want me to accompany you to dinner starkers," Jihoon smirks. 

"Tempting, but I'm not sure they'd let us in the restaurant."

"Ya think?" 

* * *

Dinner was uneventful, though Jihoon supposes he played with the steak knife a little _too_ much. Seungcheol shifts the car to park and turns to him, "Dinner was lovely."

Jihoon smiles. "It was." 

"Dessert?" 

Jihoon pretends to think it over. "Lovely idea. I made a little something earlier."

"Sounds good," Seungcheol nods. "You go ahead. I got a little surprise to get from the trunk." 

Jihoon leans forward to land a peck on his husband's lips. "You shouldn't have." He steps out of the car. "See you in five."

* * *

Jihoon goes to the kitchen, but instead of the refrigerator, he heads towards the oven and accesses the hidden back panel. Inside is a sleek handgun. He is still crouched behind the counter when Seungcheol calls out for him. 

"Hoon?"

He doesn't reply. Instead, he palms at his other gun, the one that's been holstered to his shoulder the whole night. He secures it in his other hand. 

The light in the kitchen clicks on. 

"Babe, why are you in the dark?" Seungcheol asks. 

Jihoon pockets both hands and slowly stands to reveal himself. "Sorry, dear, I just dropped something." 

Seungcheol blinks, and Jihoon does not miss a beat in ducking when his arm swings forward, hurling a sleek blade in his direction. 

In a flash, Jihoon raises his weapons, but Seungcheol had drawn his own when he was dodging the knife. They looked like a classy imitation of the Spiderman meme, only in suits and with guns. 

"Oh, honey, and it's our anniversary too." Jihoon sighs. 

A smile tugs at the corner of Seungcheol's mouth. "Woozi, I presume?" 

Jihoon gives a mock bow, keeping his eyes trained on Seungcheol. "And you're S.Coups."

Seungcheol laughs. "Pleasure's mine."

"So everything has been a lie then? This whole year was just fieldwork to corner a mark?" 

"Who says it was a lie? And you?"

"Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't."

Seungcheol grins triumphantly. "Jihoon, I've seen how you look with your pretty lips wrapped around me. You couldn't have been faking the entire time."

Woozi's trigger finger wobbles. "Maybe I'm just a good actor." His chest stings at the thought that he's been a mark the entire time, but he was asking for it getting married to someone he's only known a month. Still, he can't afford to show feelings during a crucial mission. 

He shoots. 

* * *

Hours later, the house is a mess. They both ran out of ammo and weapons and resorted to physical attacks at some point. Jihoon's lip is bleeding, and Seungcheol has a nasty cut on his cheek. They were currently at a stalemate, weaponless and gasping for air. The kitchen is on fire, and the alarm is blaring.

Jihoon looks up. "I told you to get the sprinklers fixed."

From the other side of the wall, Seungcheol grumbles. "I forgot." 

Jihoon peeks around the wall to glare at him. "I told you a month ago."

Seungcheol glares back. "I forgot."

Jihoon pulls off his tie and uses it to tourniquet the bullet graze on his arm. He tries to tie it with one hand and his mouth as Seungcheol watches. "Here, let me."

He narrows his eyes at him, but Seungcheol raises both hands. "I promise not to kill you."

Jihoon sighs and lets him. Seungcheol's face is close, _too_ close. When he looks up and sees Jihoon staring, his gaze drops to Jihoon's lips. "I've been thinking,"

"Yeah?"

"I think our bosses arranged for us to take out each other." 

Jihoon groans, "Jeonghan, the fucking audacity."

"What do you say we turn the tables on them?"

"I concur. But first," Jihoon grabs Seungcheol's collar and pulls him in for a bruising kiss. 

**Author's Note:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and then they do the do


End file.
